I know that this unfamiliar feeling in my heart Is dangerous and can break me apart But since I long to feel this way I took the risk and chose to stay In the beginning… More
Buong araw pakiramdam ko wala na naman akong ginawang tama
Sabi ko for the nth time gusto ko gumawa ng tama
Nagtaka ako bakit kelangan ang ginagawa ko husgahan ng iba
Na tila ba sa lahat ng gawin ko labis ang aking pangamba
Ang sabi ko wala akong pakealam sa sasabihin nila
Pero bakit bawat salita tumatagos, tumatama
Mabigat, masakit at mapanghusga
Ang pakiramdam ko wala akong kwenta
Buong araw bitbit ko ang bigat sa dibidib na nadarama
Sabi ko sa sarili ko,self kakampi kita
Bumawi tayo di pa tapos ang araw na to halika
Binili ko to para sayo ngumiti ka na
Hayan na ang kulog, mukhang uulan pa
Tila nakikisama sayong nadarama
Bumuhos ang ulan sakto iniwan mo payong mo at magisa ka
Naglakad ka dahan-dahan pigil ang mga luha
Napaisip ka wala namang makakakita
Kahit tumulo ang luha walang makakaalam kahit sino pa
Pero teka bakit iiyak ka di ba tapos na
Sige ngumiti ka kahit pilit at least di ka mukhang kawawa
Sa langit na madilim ikaw ay tumingala
Hinanap ang sagot sa katanungan bakit ako na naman ang tanga
Naramdaman ang buhos ng ulan sa’yong mukha
Isang himala na pinagaan nito ang yong nadarama
Tumakbo ka at ninamnam ang lamig na dumadampi sa mukha
Natuyo na pala ang luha at ang ulan tumila na
Ang bilis na napawi ang sakit na nadarama
Tila may yumakap sayo at pinatahan ka
Tulad ng ulan, ang bigat na nadarama ay humupa na
Pero di ibig sabihin na tapos na at masaya ka na
Ang totoo niyan natanggap mo na
Na isa to sa mga karaniwang araw na lumuluha ka pero wala naman nagagawa
Balik poker face kalimutan ang nangyari at matutulog ka na
Bukas panibagong araw na malamang mahuhusgahan ka
Eh kase nga wala kang nagagawang tama sa mata nila
Kaya pustahan bukas, at the end of the day.. Iiyak ka
We are strangers and maybe we’ve never met before
And it’s funny that we are unconsciously waiting for our paths to cross
We maybe alone or with someone else’s embrace
But time will come that we’ll ask why something doesn’t seems right.
Whoever you are, wherever you are,
I ask the Lord to always protect you
And know that there is a stranger caring for you
Let’s prepare to that one faithful day that the Lord will make
When we’ll finally discover why He’s chosen us
To be in each others arms
Because we are Strangers that are meant to be…
There is wisdom in suffering… -Rev. Fr. Ulrich Gacayan RCJ
I am not ashamed to say that I admire you and that you’re always an inspiration to me. I am not one of the typical young adults of this generation. When everyone else is all over to different celebrities and malicious news, I am in the church struggling for my faith when I met you. I am a defined church servant, a choir, a lector and sometimes a psalmist. But I admit that I am not a perfect servant. I committed sins repeatedly to the point that I can’t forgive myself anymore. But then I met you… You inspire me and helped me strengthen my faith the way I wanted it. My relationship to the Lord may not be enough but I never stop seeking Him, all thanks to you father. I can still clearly remember the first time I attended a mass at Our Lady of the Most Holy Rosary Parish and you were the priest, right then and there I saw your passion, your eagerness to bring people closer to God.
And I want you to know that I’m one of those people you successfully brought closer to God. I remembered how I admired the parish choirs because of their angelic voice and I said to myself that one day I’ll sing like them, I’ll sing praises with them. Through your passion, I was inspired so I joined our chapel’s choir, then our chapel servant leaders molded me so I became a lector. But that didn’t end there! One ordinary Sunday, you led the mass in our chapel, after the mass you talked to our servant leader and you announced that all choirs from different chapels should serve and sing to the Our Lady of the Most Holy Rosary parish. Just the mere blissful memory of it makes me cry because up until now I am still overwhelmed. Imagine, it is just my dream to sing praises to the parish but you made it come true! As time passed by, I am now a psalmist, I don’t just sing praises and declared the word of the Lord because I am given a chance to do it both, all thanks to you father! All thanks to the Lord who blesses me through you father.
Father, I always wanted to deliver you my gratitude of serving our parish with passion, of helping people and bringing them closer to God, of all the restless nights you rendered to church. Maybe for others they see you as “Masungit, strikto at perfectionist na pari”, but for me you are simply a passionate and powerful leader of the church. I always include you to my prayers. I always pray that may the Lord give you rest and to help you grant your hopes and dreams for the people. I remembered you said that your dream is to see all of us in heaven when we go there, just like saying that may all of us be in heaven after death and have an eternal life. I know that God has greater plans for you, and I believe greater opportunities are coming to you. I just hope that you won’t deny those opportunities, that your eagerness to bring the people of Our Lady of the Most Holy Rosary closer to God may not hinders you to accept much greater opportunity that the Catholic Church may offer you because you deserve it! All your hard work deserves to be paid off! It may be hard for us, especially for me to let you go but the Catholic Church on a wider scope needs you more than us. The Catholic Church needs more passionate priests like you. This may sounds like a good bye letter but I’d rather you think it is an admiration letter than a farewell letter. Through this letter, I just wanted you to know that all your efforts are not turning into waste, that there is me and everyone else like me that are always moved by your passion, dedication and righteousness. May the Lord bless you more, always and forever! God speed!
Valentines again! Love month for all of us! As we go through this season again which we call “love season”, people tend to reflect on their relationship status. Some are happily in love, some are happily in relationship, some are complicated, some are friend-zoned, but mostly are single. Do you know someone who loves ranting about their relationship status? Asking why they are single, why can’t they find love at the right time, or why can’t they be just happily in love to “the one”. Why can’t they just accept single-hood and be happy? You know why? It’s because they don’t know how to enjoy and indulge in their single -hood! Let’s discover the fun of being single. Let’s say yes to single-hood!
Here are the tips:
1. Discover yourself.
Single-hood is a good opportunity for you to get to know yourself better. I know you’ve been so harsh to yourself lately after suffering from heartbreaks, trying to get over and move on faster, or even questioning yourself why love hasn’t come along your way. From all the pain or emptiness you’ve been through, have you ever learned new things about yourself? Like what do you usually hate about the relationship you’re into or the things you can’t do to keep the relationship? Or haven’t you got tired of pushing yourself to find love? You definitely need a break! This only means you really don’t know yourself at all. When you discover yourself you see your worth. You’ll believe that you deserve better! You can’t love without loving yourself first! Put this to your mind, “I am too good to be with just anyone! I deserve a love that will sweep me off my feet”. Love is definitely just around the corner learn to discover and love yourself. It is never too late to know your worth.
2. Indulge yourself.
Have you ever tried dating yourself? Indulging yourself to things you ever wanted to do like those which you written to your bucket lists? All right, go on partying! buy that daring dress you ever wanted, eat all the mouth watering dishes. Have a make-over, a relaxing full body massage and stress relieving activities! Travel a lot, go to places you’ve never been! This is literally spoiling yourself.
You know why you feel lonely being single? It is because you never get to enjoy! You haven’t tried being care free. I wanna share you some secret. I’ve been single since forever and I never pressure myself to find someone to be my “the one”. It is because I enjoy the company of myself. I watch movies alone in cinemas, I eat alone to restaurants. Oh no! I’m not a loner and definitely not introvert! I just love my alone-time. Those times wherein I spend a lot for myself, money, time, efforts all just for myself! I am not selfish, I just make it a point that I shall never let myself feel less prioritized. I must admit, I spoiled myself so much but so what?! I can afford it! Nothing but the best for myself!
3. Spend time to those who matter.
Yes you’re single so what?! You have your friends, your family, yourself! The more you spend time with them, the more you wont feel the need of finding someone you wanted to share special moments. We both know that, that special someone is not the only one who matters. Have you ever go on a date with your girl friends or buddies? When was the last time you treat your siblings for a trip in the amusement park? When are you going to challenge your best friend to an eat-all-you-can buffet again? Your “the one” exists somewhere and I am sure he/ she is just hanging around also to people who matter to him/her. So don’t waste your time worrying and finding that special someone and start living your life for yourself, friends and family. Oh you realize you forgot that dinner you promise to your mom? It is because you are too preoccupied and just like what I told you, you need a break!
4. Work hard-Play hard!
As single you have greater focus. You might not have an inspiration of romantic love but be motivated to the needs of improving yourself more. Why don’t you nail that job you’ve been working on? Set your priorities. Work hard to achieve your goal! Remember a goal is a dream with a deadline and I’m sure that being in a happy relationship is not your only goal in life. So be diligent to work, show all the fishes in the ocean what they are missing! And also, play hard! Life is a gamble, so is relationship. Always remember that love is a risky gamble that you might lose so be careful. Do not jump into conclusions of falling in love to anybody whom you badly wanted to be with or be in a suffocating relationship. Play hard, be the master of the game!
5. Nail it!
Eliminate that mindset that you are alone because you’re single, or that everyone has a partner so you should have too. Live your everyday life just the way it should be before you became adult and met love. Imagine life when you were young and you don’t worry about love or relationships status. You already know how it felt to be single and you know very well that it’s not that bad! Once you got use of being single you’ll get used of all the couples doing PDA in front of you or the heavy drama your friend put you into by trying to make you realize why you need to find a partner. You’ll definitely wont need to pressure yourself of finding love at this very moment. So once you nailed it, everything is going to be smooth and this valentines season will just be another ordinary season.
You might get me wrong, I have nothing against being in a relationship. I am against of thinking that single-hood is nothing but a lonely dark part of our lives. I still believe that patience is the key of finding true love. Let love find you in its perfect time but for the meantime enjoy your single-hood. Be proud that you are free from heartbreaks, be proud you are single!
I always look for my place
Anywhere I can call my own
A place where I would fit in
Anywhere I would belong.
Then I found a place
Where I thought was I am looking for
Eventually something felt wrong
I realized I can’t go along.
A place once I called mine
Has became a cage that imprison me
I hold on to the thought that I am where I should be
But then it took my happiness like a breath taken away from me.
After sometime I learned that letting go
Would be my means to escape this chaos
At first I am afraid cause I have nowhere to go
But I took my courage and everything was lost.
I continue my journey of finding my place
Heartaches, failures are along my way
So eager to find my place I am in a fast pace
But I didn’t give up cause I know I’ll find my way.
And then I saw the end of the journey
Not too sure what is ahead of me
Everything I see was a blurry
But I ran to it and embrace whatever it would be.
My new found place is unexpected
It felt warm and my spirit seems elevated
It doesn’t really felt so right but neither felt wrong
I don’t fit in but I felt belong.
(hi Myself! Just a simple reminder that you are in the office when you wrote this so you wont forget what place you are referring to)
freedom is a matter of your choice
shout out loud till you run out of voice
follow your heart, go wild and have fun
be free like wind and shine like the sun
People may think you’re a rule breaker
Because you are a freedom sucker
Remember that you’re exceptional
Because you are not conventional.
That day I fell in love again
Not for someone but for something not existential
Which in my heart is something really special
It is my passion in writing, Wow! I’m writing again
I have tons of thoughts everyday
Oh no I’m no smarty-pants!
But I do have always something to say
So I decided to write to my own heart’s desire!